I was christened and brought up in Germany. My parents split up when I was 7 followed by the sad loss of my older stepbrother through suicide. It left me somewhat traumatised and yearning for security, love and stability but it also forced me to be fiercely independent and self-sufficient. I had been close to my mother who was primarily a non-practising Christian. She moved away and I was mainly brought up by my dad who was an atheist, strongly opposed to any religion. Despite this I attended, driven by peer pressure, Bible lessons when I was 11 and became a confirmed Christian at the age of 13. I have always been quite deep and spiritual, but I did struggle to find much guidance in the text of the Bible, praying to an idol, or the concept of Sunday church, as I hated preaching. I drifted away from Christianity and couldn’t really define my beliefs though I did pray sometimes to a ‘God’ or the ‘Universe’ and always believed there was an Afterlife.

I moved to the UK in 1984 to get married. I had 2 beautiful children who sadly did not have exposure to faith as their dad was very non-religious and my faith was weak hence religion did not play any role in our family. The break-up of my marriage and the loss of my mum at the same time pushed me back into being deeply spiritual and I explored meditation and was quite drawn to what I understood to be Buddhist values. I had no exposure at all to Islam at this stage…living in a predominantly white rural neighbourhood. I worked and struggled to bring up my 2 children while always having an immense feeling of unfulfillment and loss, but my heart became softer, and I believe that I became a better version of myself, being kinder, more thoughtful, and generous, often staring into the universe for reassurance. Several years later I met the man that became my second husband. He was not religious either, but appeared to share my values, being kind and spiritual, however, once we got married it became apparent that he just wanted a meal-ticket and being looked after. To distract myself from my unhappiness I focused on my career, but my second marriage finished after I found out he had been having an affair. By then I had still not had any close interaction with a Muslim person ever, but had worked closely with a person of Hindu and Sikh faith and learned a little and contemplated faith again.

I started travelling alone, first to Cambodia and Laos, this really opened my heart and mind to different values and cultures, realising that love and peace is in conflict with materialism and some Western values. I was drawn again to explore Buddhism, however again ‘the concept of idols’ didn’t sit right with me. I also travelled to other countries including India opening my mind to different cultures and religions, my first small exposure to Islam.

Then at the beginning of 2022, I met my first Muslim friend. I definitely had some preconceived ideas about Islam thanks to Western media and observation of poor role models. I was curious and asked questions and started to do a little bit of research, soon beginning to realise that Islam wasn’t at all what I was made to believe, and I started to understand how the culture of some Islamic countries did not equal pure Islam. I continued to ask questions and do some research, being quite confused by some of the differing information. To better understand what my friend was talking to me about I decided to buy a translation of the Quran (The Clear Quran) which I read over a period of 10 months. I realised that the Buddhist values I observed were very similar to those in Islam and actually, my undefined belief had always been very closely aligned with what I now knew of the Islamic faith….what a surprise! In the process, I realised that I had regained faith, became increasingly involved in charitable activities, and started to distance myself from selfish people and wanted to tell people about Islam. It didn’t always go down well, so after some time, I learned when to speak and when to remain quiet or distance myself.

At the end of 2023, I started to be curious about prayer, which was not something that came natural to me, but I started to learn. I had been to the local mosque but did not feel they were very supportive of converts, so I looked for convert resources and came across ‘New Beginnings’. I enrolled on the ‘Firm Foundations 1 Course’ and was overwhelmed by the supportive and non -judgemental environment and the clear information. I eventually decided that I wanted to be a Muslim.

I converted in July 2024 aged 60 with New Beginnings and inshallah started a beautiful late journey. It was very difficult and lonely at first, living in a non-Muslim community, but with the continued support of New Beginnings and now a few local Muslim friends things are getting easier and I am becoming more comfortable in my new skin. Praise Allah, my children (all grown up) have been accepting but I hope inshallah in time they will also find their way into the fold of Islam.

May Allah make this journey easy for us and I can’t express my gratitude to my new ‘New Beginnings” family for all the support they provide.

– Sonja